SING. SWEAT. PRAY.

I have a new sign on my fridge. It says: SING. SWEAT. PRAY.

Those are three things that I just won't do when I'm depressed. I heard a speaker share something a couple of weeks ago that I liked. She said "Depression starts in your ass. So get off your ass."

I'm a happy person living with depression.

I think of these daily practices as energy threads that keep me connected to a happy, functional life. (I could also add "EAT REAL FOOD" and "CALL PEOPLE" to that list.) Sometimes I let one or two of them go. At times I have let them all go at once. The thing is, once I let one element slide, it becomes so much easier to let the others go. They seem too cumbersome, too time-consuming, too much. And then come the real hounds of hell.

I'm no scientist, but I know a bit about serotonin. I know that singing, sweating, and making time for prayer (and her hipper cousin, meditation) are three things that give me the happy juice. And my brain is always about a quart short of the happy juice. So I do my stuff to the best of my ability every day, and try to reach out to life.

Last night I went to North Van to practice with a rock band. I recorded it, but it turned out just rotten. Real live rock bands are LOUD. I was loud too. It was hella fun and I hope to do it again soon.

Butt, meet Mat. Mat, Butt.

Growth would be awesome if it wasn't so damned uncomfortable. And yet, once I get into it, it's like the only thing that really feeds me. Do you get that feeling, ever? Like after spending so long avoiding the work, you finally pick up your tools and just START somewhere.  Anywhere. And then your passion sucks you in and next thing you know you're totally engrossed and you've been deep in it for three hours and you forgot to eat?

That's what making art is always like for me. Doesn't matter what the medium.  I guess I thought that after twenty years of being a creative worker I would have ... I dunno... gotten the fuck over it.

There's a wonderful teacher whom I adore, named Pema Chodron.  She's been a Buddhist nun for  years. I've heard her tell a very similar tale - she figured after a bazillion years of meditating, and teaching meditation, and studying meditation that she would eventually be able to meditate without her chattering mind messing with her. Nope.   She says it's gotten better, but it never totally goes away. She's just a woman with a very active mind.

But how can this be?  She's Pema Chodron, superstar Buddhist kickass ninja nun! And yet she's saying she never perfected the basic practice of calming the mind.

But you know what she did, don'tcha? She put her butt on the mat every day.

Namaste, bitches.

Downtown Aug1711.m4a by cassking

Cry, baby-karaoke-aug1711 by cassking

I don't know when it started, but ever since I was a kid I've had this crushing phobia about other people hearing me rehearse.   And yet I've never wanted anything more in my life than to be a confident, accomplished singer.  I guess it makes sense, if a person wants a thing so badly... what's at stake?  What happens to someone who wants to be great but doesn't have the balls to suck?

... The um... courage to suck.   You know what I mean.

Music Therapy, Rolfing, Slam Poetry, and a lot of faith got me over my fear of singing in front of people, which at one time was so crippling I used to just stand in front of the mic and weep.  Tragic, right? Felt awful at the time. Today it would probably go viral.

But I still have this lingering resistance to rehearsing when people can hear me. At the studio I'm fine, because, hey it's a voice studio, surely the neighbors have heard the full fucking spectrum.  But at home, it still freaks me out. I feel like if I were great - like you know, Bonnie Raitt or Tina Turner, that would be ok, but since I'm me, and since I'm learning, it must be extremely annoying.

Or maybe, just maybe it's all in my head and I should shut up and sing.



Downtown 8-15-11 by cassking

Two takes and some yeah yeah yeahs.

Downtown14c.m4a by cassking

Downtown 14-11.m4a by cassking

Yeahyeahyeah by cassking

Progress, not perfection.

Spent a very good hour at the rehearsal studio today. Sadly, I was only able to record on my iPhone. Anybody got any good suggestions about how to get decent mic sounds into an iPhone?

Anyways, it was great to rehearse at full voice, even though I think I still have a lot to learn about ... well, everything. I am hearing progress, and that makes my heart glad.

I ask you to please remember that 1) Shine is supposed to be plastered. and 2) Nope, that's it. Totally Gooned.

Downtown, Aug 11 2011

Hard Rocking. It's not hard, it just sounds that way.

I love this ridiculous video by AC/DC.

I'm thinking about today is that we tend to think rock singers sing "hard" - as though they have these superhuman lungs and they just can push out more sound than the average singer. But it's not true. What I hear as ROCKING is mostly texture. And attitude.  

Here's an example of what I mean by texture: Say "ribbit".  Say "ribbit" like you, then say "ribbit" like a frog. Now try to keep that froggy "ribbit" feeling and go: "YAAAAAAAAAA!" That's what some people call a " vocal fry" and that's what I'm working on.  

It's tricky because our vocal cords are actually pretty short, and the more air we force through them, the harder it is to hold them together, so it's easy to blow them out, or force them too hard. OR keep them too rigid, or tense up in the throat.

But you know, Brian Johnson from AC/DC just makes it all look so easy!

Here's another video. Talented vagina? Nope! Those are your vocal cords! Well, ok, they are not your vocal cords, they are someone else's vocal cords, but they look a lot like yours and mine!

Oh, right, and today's recording.  I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't really working hard on this one.

Em. U. Late.

Today's goal is: Emulate.  See if I can sing this song exactly the way that Selene sings it.  As a refresher: here's Selene (she starts at 1:00).   Here's me, today.  I got partway through before I decided it's really pretty late to be howling in my apartment.

What I am doing right now, y'all? It's ridiculous. I'm trying to record a rock track while SIMULTANEOUSLY trying not to annoy my neighbors.

I have devised an ingenious method of sound-baffling. I'm not sure if it's doing anything for the sound, but it sure is baffling. 

This is me with the furry blanket I've got slung over my head. Laugh it up, fuzzball.

And this is Joan Jett, being a badass.

The Goalpost.

I'm practicing my ROCKING OUT. I've sung jazz, cabaret, blues, bossa nova, country, hip hop, trip hop, gospel, jump blues, and soul. But not much flat-out, balls-to-the-wall ROCK. And karaoke doesn't count.

I'm absolutely convinced I can do it. So... now I gotta do it.

The first song out of the gate for Shine is Show on Broadway / How We Do It Downtown. The "Show on Broadway" part is syrupy sweet, legit Broadway singing - Sweet! Except that's not my part. That's sung by a character named Violet.  Shine's job is to come in, absolutely roaring drunk, and lay down a screaming hot rock vocal before she passes out flat on her face.

I've done this show several times, and never quite achieved that alcoholic-with-her-finger-in-a-light-socket, full-tilt-boogie, Janis-meets-Tank-Girl electric boogaloo slide that the song needs.

Here's a sample:  It was recorded in 2009, after completing the first run of SHINE at the Waterfront Theatre.  This track was recorded as a demo, and not really intended for public consumption. Think of it as rehearsal:  http://soundcloud.com/cassking/broadway-downtown-2008

Recently, our producer friend Walter Winston O'Neill (himself an amazing vocalist) had one of his friends (I'll get her name, I promise!) record a version of "Downtown" that blew me away and also scared the shit out of me. Here it is:   http://soundcloud.com/cassking/broadway-downtown

Again, a demo track and not for public consumption but HOLY SHIT. Listen to her go! Whatcha got there is a real live New York rock singer! I throw the horns at your rock mastery, sister!

I don't want to sing this song like her, but I've been given a challenge:   *emulate* what this singer is doing.  So: first emulate, get strong, try on different styles, find my own interpretation. That's what I'm planning on doing with this blog.

Here's me, taking a shot at EMULATE:  http://soundcloud.com/cassking/downtown-aug711

I absolutely can't describe the discomfort I feel in posting this, (Hello Humility! Welcome!) Y'all know, like any other performer, how much I like to look AWESOME. Well, this take is not that.  In a nutshell: I'm trying too hard.

The thing that IS awesome, the thing I am proud of, is doing it.  I am here. The goalpost is there.  Go.

Who is Shine Mionne? Who am I? Why does this blog exist?

SHINE: A Burlesque Musical is a show about finding your chosen family - you know, those people in your life who love you for who you are. The people who let you shine.  Our "hero" is Shine Mionne - a hard living 45 year old New Yorker who owns The Aristocrat Theatre, where in her words: "Everything we do is either arousing, astounding or profoundly disturbing. I prefer all three."

If I were to do one of those annoying comparisons to give you an idea of her character, I'd say that Shine is a cross between Janis Joplin and Carol Burnett. 

I am Cass King, one of the writers. I am a self taught writer and singer. I've performing for 20 years, recently as "The Wet Spots" with my SHINE co-writer (and partner in all things) John Woods.  I fell into performing the role of Shine and I love performing as Shine, and I intend to keep performing Shine. But now, I need to improve my skills because SHINE the musical is about to take a HUGE. LEAP. FORWARD.

So... how do you get to Carnegie Hall? PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE!

This blog is my rehearsal journal. My intention is to do 8 "shows"a week - just like I'll be doing when the show goes pro.  I have a strong *feeling* that I can do 8 shows a week. But I've never done it.

Until now.